Sunday, March 2, 2014

The right & wrong way to handle a snowstorm.

The right and wrong way to handle a snowstorm.
 The Wrong Way
Wake up day of snowstorm. Go to market with 100 other crazed people to get things we already have plenty of in the house. Practice Zen breathing to avoid cursing at woman on cell phone holding up deli line while she finishes her call. Practice breathing again to avoid screaming at elderly person holding up check out line while she searches for her checkbook.
Drive home. Listen to husband freak out about missing another day of work. Watch husband simultaneously watch weather report on phone, laptop & TV. Listen to husband simultaneously curse all three.
Charge all electronic objects in anticipation of power loss. DVR several hours of bad TV. Shut bedroom door to avoid hearing angry husband. Call parents to hear how hot it is in Florida. Cry.
 The Right Way
Wake up in sunny Florida having gotten last seat on Southwest flight into West Palm.  Wander into kitchen where perfect Jewish mother (PJM) has fresh bagel, low fat cream cheese, tomatoes that taste like tomatoes and nova for breakfast. Pack pool bag and walk to pool. Lay in sun, read and nap. Sit up at 1:00 when perfect Jewish father brings sandwich, prepared by PJM, to pool. Wander back, shower and head out to happy hour followed by dinner. Fall asleep.
Repeat until winter passes.

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