So recently heard a radio show on the crisis of 'over sharing'. Definitely not my issue as I struggle with sharing at all. Last month or two have been full of stuff that didn't make the blog due to my phobia of sharing at all! Obviously not a phobia hip enough to make even NPR.
My S has been away all week at senior week. Putting aside the terror that senior week brings out in any parent ; the possibility of partying oneself into a hospital bed or police car, I'm trying to see this week as an empty nest test. In Sept both the kids will be away at college leaving just the husband and I ,home alone. Perhaps my lack of panic about that fact is slightly disillusion but..
Both of them will be fairly close to home ( under an hour) and I expect them home for high holidays, thanksgiving, winter break so I don't think it will be too much separation anxiety. (On my part that is; I expect none on the part of my S off to his freshman year.)
By the time I recover from packing him off and cleaning up the debris he leaves in his wake I expect him ( and her) back again. Add in a few parent sponsored Sunday dinners and I think the trauma will be minimal.
As for this quiet, empty nest week at home? It's been ok. I've slept through the night , as opposed to laying awake until 3am listening for him at the door, cleaned out my closet,and went out for a glass ( or two ) of wine on a Wednesday eve. Still didn't clean out the basement, or the hall linen closet, so there's still plenty on the TO Do list. All in all not yet panicking about Sept. But don't worry , there's plenty of time!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Movies
I'll try and do a mini post under this heading every now and then to let you know what I've recently seen. So if you don't care; feel free to skip it!
Saw Iron Man 2 and was super disappointed as I loved the first one. Of course, watching Robert Downey is a joy but aside from him the movie was a real dud.
Loved Robin Hood; highly recommend it. It had just enough of everything to interest my H, my teenage son and me. Russel Crowe was great, of course. There was some fascinating English history to appeal to us history buffs, and then at the exact moment your attention was starting to drift, wham, an awesome fight scene-castles being stormed, arrows flying, damsels in distress, and lots of swords , mud and blood.
City Island. This is one of those films they don't make enough of. I hope the word of mouth spreads and this film goes from an art house favorite to a big hit so the studios will make more of these kinds of movies. No special effects, no fight scenes just real people, great dialogue, great story. Funny, sad and all around worthwhile. Iron Man 2 (CD/DVD)
Saw Iron Man 2 and was super disappointed as I loved the first one. Of course, watching Robert Downey is a joy but aside from him the movie was a real dud.
Loved Robin Hood; highly recommend it. It had just enough of everything to interest my H, my teenage son and me. Russel Crowe was great, of course. There was some fascinating English history to appeal to us history buffs, and then at the exact moment your attention was starting to drift, wham, an awesome fight scene-castles being stormed, arrows flying, damsels in distress, and lots of swords , mud and blood.
City Island. This is one of those films they don't make enough of. I hope the word of mouth spreads and this film goes from an art house favorite to a big hit so the studios will make more of these kinds of movies. No special effects, no fight scenes just real people, great dialogue, great story. Funny, sad and all around worthwhile. Iron Man 2 (CD/DVD)
Thursday, May 27, 2010
spa vacation
Just back from an awesome vacation with my mom and daughter at Woodloch spa. It was my Mom's birthday present to my D and me. Great present! The place was not too far, an easy 3 hour drive and was incredibly beautiful. The dining room and all the hang out rooms had huge windows looking into the woods. The exercise rooms were on the 3rd floor with floor to ceiling windows which make for a beautiful work out atmosphere. The staff could not have been nicer from the guys who parked our car to the dining room staff, front desk and spa folks. The food was amazing. All 3 meals were included and you could order whatever you wanted. The food was delicious and since the portions were small you could easily eat everything on the menu! So between the 3 of us we ate every appetizer, entree and dessert. We had some wonderful treatments including yummy body wraps, facials and massages and spend relaxing time in a hot tub on the outdoor deck overlooking the woods. There were couples there as well which surprised me as I couldn't imagine my husband hanging out at a spa for 2 days. It was a wonderful thing to do as a mother daughter trip ( thanks mom!!) We met 2 women who were sorority sisters 40 years ago and still vacation together which pleased my D. My only complaint? We had to come home!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Marriage
Thinking about marriage lately. Not sure why. Maybe because someone asked me about a caterer and I realized I was too far from Bar mitzvah throwing stage to know one and that I couldn't envision needing one until wedding stage; hopefully more than a few years away. Or maybe it was when a friend tried to find a couple's bridal registry on line and along with their registry discovered more information than she bargained for, including their wedding details, honeymoon destination and the price they paid for their house. Wow, the information age has really changed the wedding process!
So while planning a successful wedding might have changed I suspect that having a successful marriage has not. I thought it might be great to ask friends and family what is the one, or two, pieces of advice they would give their children on picking a mate and having a happy marriage. Positive or negative advice is fine. My hope is that this becomes a larger collaboration. Please pass on your advice and that of your friends and family. Feel free to send them this piece. You can email it directly to me at css1222@gmail.com or leave your advice in the comment section. I promise to organize it and pass it back on to everyone. Thanks!
Below I've passed on a few gems from some first ladies (excuse any paraphrasing). I thought their advice really rang true.
Betty Ford; On Marriage
Marriage is always a 20%/80% deal. Sometimes you're 20 and he's 80 and sometimes it's the other way around.
Babara Bush; On picking a mate:
Find someone you love to be with and someone who shares yor hobbies.
Michelle Obama; On picking a mate:
Start out with someone you respect and trust. Be sure you generally like the other person, like the way they think, like the person they are. If you are with someone you trust, respect and like, you will have that foundation you need for when you hit those inevitable bumps.
Don't forget to subscribe/follow. There are two places on the blog to do so. Thanks!
So while planning a successful wedding might have changed I suspect that having a successful marriage has not. I thought it might be great to ask friends and family what is the one, or two, pieces of advice they would give their children on picking a mate and having a happy marriage. Positive or negative advice is fine. My hope is that this becomes a larger collaboration. Please pass on your advice and that of your friends and family. Feel free to send them this piece. You can email it directly to me at css1222@gmail.com or leave your advice in the comment section. I promise to organize it and pass it back on to everyone. Thanks!
Below I've passed on a few gems from some first ladies (excuse any paraphrasing). I thought their advice really rang true.
Betty Ford; On Marriage
Marriage is always a 20%/80% deal. Sometimes you're 20 and he's 80 and sometimes it's the other way around.
Babara Bush; On picking a mate:
Find someone you love to be with and someone who shares yor hobbies.
Michelle Obama; On picking a mate:
Start out with someone you respect and trust. Be sure you generally like the other person, like the way they think, like the person they are. If you are with someone you trust, respect and like, you will have that foundation you need for when you hit those inevitable bumps.
Don't forget to subscribe/follow. There are two places on the blog to do so. Thanks!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Back to Penn
Got lucky again and my D invited me to see David Remnick speak at Penn last Wednesday. He is a Pulitzer prize winning author, the editor of The New Yorker since 1998, replacing Tina Brown, and now the author of the new Obama biography, The Bridge . The Bridge is the story of Obama 's election from the focus of race. The lecture was titled, The Joshua generation which is the name given to Obama, and our own Mayor Nutters' generation. Seems, no surprise there, that the story of Moses and the exodus from Egypt has great meaning within the black community. The older civil rights leaders, Martin Luther King, John Lewis, are referred to as the Moses generation as they led their people to civil, educational, and political freedom but it is this new generation who has, like Joshua, been allowed to enter the promise land; schools like Harvard, and the apex of all, the White House.
Remnick was exactly who you want the editor of The New Yorker to be. Central casting couldn't have done a better job. Super smart, very funny, quick on his feet, confident with out being arrogant. He was cute in that skinny ,curly dark haired Jewish geek way. He even had his son in the audience,a cute Jewish boy!
I won't reiterate the entire lecture but here is one question, and answer, I thought might be of interest.
A woman asked why he thinks Obama seems to not have as strong support from the Jewish community as one would expect given that his two closest advisers, David Alexrod and Rahm Emmanuel are both Jewish and in Rahm's case, very tied to Israel? After a moments hesitation Remnick said that there is no way to avoid saying that the great majority of the anti-Obama sentiment is nothing but racism. He also added that Obama is a pragmatist and believes that the current right wing Israeli government approach/attitude toward the Arab problem swings between unrealistic and disillusion as perfectly illustrated by their announcement of new settlements in the middle of Biden's visit. He said that the same can be said for the current Arab governments.
The weirdest question? A guy in the back asked if in his research he found out anything about how Obama was as a lover. Remnick humorously and politely noted that he was no Kitty Kelly and quickly moved on!
All in all, a great night.
Remnick was exactly who you want the editor of The New Yorker to be. Central casting couldn't have done a better job. Super smart, very funny, quick on his feet, confident with out being arrogant. He was cute in that skinny ,curly dark haired Jewish geek way. He even had his son in the audience,a cute Jewish boy!
I won't reiterate the entire lecture but here is one question, and answer, I thought might be of interest.
A woman asked why he thinks Obama seems to not have as strong support from the Jewish community as one would expect given that his two closest advisers, David Alexrod and Rahm Emmanuel are both Jewish and in Rahm's case, very tied to Israel? After a moments hesitation Remnick said that there is no way to avoid saying that the great majority of the anti-Obama sentiment is nothing but racism. He also added that Obama is a pragmatist and believes that the current right wing Israeli government approach/attitude toward the Arab problem swings between unrealistic and disillusion as perfectly illustrated by their announcement of new settlements in the middle of Biden's visit. He said that the same can be said for the current Arab governments.
The weirdest question? A guy in the back asked if in his research he found out anything about how Obama was as a lover. Remnick humorously and politely noted that he was no Kitty Kelly and quickly moved on!
All in all, a great night.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Public debate or Debase?
I was lucky enough to attend a forum this week at Penn on the state of public debate in the united states today. Incredibly lucky both that my daughter invites me to spend time with her, and, that she invites me to spend time with her attending such great events. I think as college students the kids may get blase about their exposure to great minds but for me it was a wonderful opportunity to be able to spend the evening listening in on a conversation between a group of such smart, accomplished and funny people.
The forum was moderated by Amy Gutman, the University President, and the five person panel included three outstanding professors, including Kathleen Hall Jamieson,and Jim Leach, who had been a Congressman for thirty years and now serves as the Chair of the National Endowment for the Humanities, and Andrea Mitchell, from NBC news.
Obviously everyone agreed that the state of public debate in today's society was horrendous. First was a discussion on the causes.
The Media
What we have today is passion without facts. Given the speed at which talk radio, talk tv and the internet moves there is no longer time to check facts before reporting them and in many cases not even an aspiration toward balance. The increase in media outlets means that people hear only what they already believe. The only show on TV which is watched equally by liberal and conservatives? House.
Money
People are drawn to the most outrageous or extreme shows. Increased ratings=increased revenue which encourages more shows and pundits to employ these tactics.
More important is the issue of money in politics, made much worse by the recent Supreme Court decision. The need of a politician to raise huge sums of money to survive fuels extremism as the those with extreme views get the most PAC money.
The Public
Yes, not all blame can be laid on others. We seem to have lost the art of pro-active hearing, of really listening with an open mind to the opinions of others because we think we already know what the other side is going to say.
How do we fix the problem?
We need to let go of the notion that expressing opinions in a zero sum game. We need to let go of the belief that if you win then I have lost my America.
We need to recognize that words can lead to violence. We need to be more aware of the danger of language that comes from a place of rage, especially rage based racism. The bombings in Oklahoma City and the Nazi regime in Germany both began with a language of violence and rage.
We need to demand more and we need to demand better from our leaders. We need to demand that they do not fight fire with fire, that they deescalate, not escalate, the rhetoric.
Is there any hope?
There was a great deal of optimism concerning the college age generation, with whom his group has a great deal of contact. Although their faith in politics is fairly low, their level of volunteerism is extremely high. Their openness to hearing each other is also very high. One professor sited as an example a group of Jewish and Muslim students who recently joined together to spend their spring break in New Orleans helping the victims of Katrina. They called themselves MAGIC- Muslims and Jews in cahoots. One professor said he thinks they may be the next greatest generation. In one of the funniest lines of the night he said that we may just have to wait until the pig passes through the python and this generation takes over.
So lots of food for thought. Please pass this along to anyone but especially anyone you know who thinks that anyone who expresses an opinion different than their own deserves to be shut down, or worse, shot down.
The forum was moderated by Amy Gutman, the University President, and the five person panel included three outstanding professors, including Kathleen Hall Jamieson,and Jim Leach, who had been a Congressman for thirty years and now serves as the Chair of the National Endowment for the Humanities, and Andrea Mitchell, from NBC news.
Obviously everyone agreed that the state of public debate in today's society was horrendous. First was a discussion on the causes.
The Media
What we have today is passion without facts. Given the speed at which talk radio, talk tv and the internet moves there is no longer time to check facts before reporting them and in many cases not even an aspiration toward balance. The increase in media outlets means that people hear only what they already believe. The only show on TV which is watched equally by liberal and conservatives? House.
Money
People are drawn to the most outrageous or extreme shows. Increased ratings=increased revenue which encourages more shows and pundits to employ these tactics.
More important is the issue of money in politics, made much worse by the recent Supreme Court decision. The need of a politician to raise huge sums of money to survive fuels extremism as the those with extreme views get the most PAC money.
The Public
Yes, not all blame can be laid on others. We seem to have lost the art of pro-active hearing, of really listening with an open mind to the opinions of others because we think we already know what the other side is going to say.
How do we fix the problem?
We need to let go of the notion that expressing opinions in a zero sum game. We need to let go of the belief that if you win then I have lost my America.
We need to recognize that words can lead to violence. We need to be more aware of the danger of language that comes from a place of rage, especially rage based racism. The bombings in Oklahoma City and the Nazi regime in Germany both began with a language of violence and rage.
We need to demand more and we need to demand better from our leaders. We need to demand that they do not fight fire with fire, that they deescalate, not escalate, the rhetoric.
Is there any hope?
There was a great deal of optimism concerning the college age generation, with whom his group has a great deal of contact. Although their faith in politics is fairly low, their level of volunteerism is extremely high. Their openness to hearing each other is also very high. One professor sited as an example a group of Jewish and Muslim students who recently joined together to spend their spring break in New Orleans helping the victims of Katrina. They called themselves MAGIC- Muslims and Jews in cahoots. One professor said he thinks they may be the next greatest generation. In one of the funniest lines of the night he said that we may just have to wait until the pig passes through the python and this generation takes over.
So lots of food for thought. Please pass this along to anyone but especially anyone you know who thinks that anyone who expresses an opinion different than their own deserves to be shut down, or worse, shot down.
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