Public debate or Debase?

I was lucky enough to attend a forum this week at Penn on the state of public debate in the united states today. Incredibly lucky both that my daughter invites me to spend time with her, and, that she invites me to spend time with her attending such great events. I think as college students the kids may get blase about their exposure to great minds but for me it was a wonderful opportunity to be able to spend the evening listening in on a conversation between a group of such smart, accomplished and funny people.
The forum was moderated by Amy Gutman, the University President, and the five person panel included three outstanding professors, including Kathleen Hall Jamieson,and Jim Leach, who had been a Congressman for thirty years and now serves as the Chair of the National Endowment for the Humanities, and Andrea Mitchell, from NBC news.
Obviously everyone agreed that the state of public debate in today's society was horrendous. First was a discussion on the causes.
The Media
What we have today is passion without facts. Given the speed at which talk radio, talk tv and the internet moves there is no longer time to check facts before reporting them and in many cases not even an aspiration toward balance. The increase in media outlets means that people hear only what they already believe. The only show on TV which is watched equally by liberal and conservatives? House.
Money
People are drawn to the most outrageous or extreme shows. Increased ratings=increased revenue which encourages more shows and pundits to employ these tactics.
More important is the issue of money in politics, made much worse by the recent Supreme Court decision. The need of a politician to raise huge sums of money to survive fuels extremism as the those with extreme views get the most PAC money.
The Public
Yes, not all blame can be laid on others. We seem to have lost the art of pro-active hearing, of really listening with an open mind to the opinions of others because we think we already know what the other side is going to say.
How do we fix the problem?
We need to let go of the notion that expressing opinions in a zero sum game. We need to let go of the belief that if you win then I have lost my America.
We need to recognize that words can lead to violence. We need to be more aware of the danger of language that comes from a place of rage, especially rage based racism. The bombings in Oklahoma City and the Nazi regime in Germany both began with a language of violence and rage.
We need to demand more and we need to demand better from our leaders. We need to demand that they do not fight fire with fire, that they deescalate, not escalate, the rhetoric.
Is there any hope?
There was a great deal of optimism concerning the college age generation, with whom his group has a great deal of contact. Although their faith in politics is fairly low, their level of volunteerism is extremely high. Their openness to hearing each other is also very high. One professor sited as an example a group of Jewish and Muslim students who recently joined together to spend their spring break in New Orleans helping the victims of Katrina. They called themselves MAGIC- Muslims and Jews in cahoots. One professor said he thinks they may be the next greatest generation. In one of the funniest lines of the night he said that we may just have to wait until the pig passes through the python and this generation takes over.

So lots of food for thought. Please pass this along to anyone but especially anyone you know who thinks that anyone who expresses an opinion different than their own deserves to be shut down, or worse, shot down.

Overheard...

Many years ago, and if you remember you're showing your age, the Jewish Exponent used to run a cartoon based on something funny that was 'overheard'. Unfortunately it was canceled after one cartoon showed two guys walking out of a funeral saying, yes he was married for 40 years with 10 off for good behavior. It was very funny, more so if you knew, or could guess. whose funeral it was but obviously someone didn't see the humor! But since I'm not popular enough to cause a boycott I decided to could risk resurrecting the idea.
Apologies in advance for any liberties taken with the 'quotes'. So with love....

Overheard:
At a funeral...
He was smarter than me and everyone knows I never say that.

At a different one...
I used to be envious of her but I'm here and she's not. Wasn't that a waste of time.

From a young woman wondering if she should cut her guy loose...
If he doesn't play around now will I wind up as Jenny Sanford?

From at least five different women after multiple Olympic watching hours...
You know, I was always a really great skater

At a party...
Oh yes we've met before but you were a blond then.

movies

I've been lucky and gotten to see 4 good movies in the past 2 weeks. Three as a result of being in Florida and one from having the blizzard cancel dinner plans. Fair warning; 'good' is in the eye of the beholder and my opinions may obviously not match everyone else. For proof of that see Avatar blog!
The Young Victoria- loved it, loved it. Wonderful story, great acting. Would I take my H? Maybe- unlike many of those"talky English things" (his words) this one had a faster moving plot and he might have enjoyed it. However, he also could definitely have lived without it. Not a single bad thing to say about the movie except the dinner party scenes made my feel terribly inadequate as an hostess!
An Education- prob my favorite of the four- it was fascinating, completely different from anything I had seen and again the acting was perfection. Funny, sad, and shocking. Yes, I think my H would have liked it. Interesting thing about this movie is how differently different age groups react to it. My parents (and friends parents) also loved it but felt it was anti-semitic , something my friends totally did not feel. While the age difference between the girl and the man was shocking none of the fore mentioned groups questioned why she would be interested in him. Who wouldn't be interested in Peter Sarsgaard! And the character he plays is charming and sophisticated. However, my friends' 16 year old saw him as ancient, disgusting and a complete pedophile!
The Little Traitor- an Israeli film my Mom dragged me to at a very old theater in Delray. It was terrific! The only sad thing about it is that I don't think anyone out side of Delray will get to see it which is a real shame. It tells the story a the relationship between an 11 year old Israeli boy and a British soldier during the time of the British occupation of Palestine. Completely different film except for the appearance of Alfred Molina as the soldier who I had just seen the night before as a British Dad. The boy was wonderful. His facial expressions were so funny. Funny, touching, if there's any way to see it I highly recommend you do so.
Last film -Crazy Heart. Also really liked it. (Told you I was 4 for 4). Of course we've all seen this film before most recently as The Wrestler, but Jeff Bridges really took it to a new level. My H loved it also! So get off the couch, and head out the door.

lucky

Most of us know we are lucky. But it's hard to maintain that 'I'm lucky' momentum all the time. When you are having a shitty day it's hard to be cheered up by remembering that you have all your arms and legs, or your house didn't get wiped out by a earthquake. It's hard to feel lucky just for being 'normal'. But we should. So here's a few I'm lucky thoughts.

I'm lucky to have two really great kids who are healthy and happy enough to drive me occasionally crazy. I'm lucky to have an amazing husband who is willing to go to the market in the snow so I can complain about what he forgot to get.
I'm lucky to be able to have two parents who are healthy and tons of fun to be with. I'm lucky to have my Mom so that she can push too much food on me and my dad who can worry that we are not handling something right.
I'm lucky to be able to spend a week with my friends in Florida where we get to be wonderfully lazy and eat, read, shop and go to the movies. I'm lucky to make it home safely to a blizzard so I an wonder why I'm not still in Florida with my chopped salad.
I'm lucky to come home to great friends who understand that a 20 min conversation takes 35 phone calls to complete.
I'm lucky to come home to a house filled with loud hungry teenage boys, wet clothes,and a smelly dog. They will all get snowed in here for days if I'm really lucky.
Lucky to come home to too much mail, too much laundry and just enough good stuff on my tivo!

avatar

I've had this post in my head for a bit but it was the email from a friend that gave me the courage to write! You know who you are...
I have come to the conclusion that I am obviously the only person in the universe who hated Avatar. Yes, it was visually amazing but that could not sustain me through what seemed to me to be a mish mosh of a 100 other movie plots. Did whoever wrote this 'plot' really think we had never seen a movie before this one? The handsome white boy meets and falls in love with the beautiful native girl and dedicates his life to her? dances with wolves. The whole plot about how a dragon can only bond with one rider for his life; word for word out of Ergon. The crazed military guy? I was waiting for him to start yelling, "I love the smell of napalm in the morning". The brave scientist battling the uncaring corporate idiots? Way too many movies to even name.
At one point, I turned to my H and said, this is the dumbest movie I have ever seen. Not a good idea. I felt like a Cowboys fan at an Eagles game.
Not that I wasn't moved at all. I sat in a theater with the most mixed crowd I have ever seen. Blacks, whites, grandparents, young kids and teenagers all siting in complete silence for two and half hours. I never even saw anyone checking their cell phone! I was impressed with the phenomenon, the movie a lot less so. Too bad I'm all alone out here...

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follow me

As of now, I have new posts emailed to people. However, it would be great if instead anyone interested in reading my blog could sign on as a follower. It's pretty easy. Just click on the Follow link on the top of the page and fill out the info. (On my computer it's a blue banner) If for some reason that isn't there scroll down on d there is another follow link on the left side. Thanks!

full house,empty house

I try not to miss my kids when they are away. My D was in Italy for 4 months and I did a good job of not being sad. Of course that may be due in large part to the fact that she called every day and talked at great length. Despite the fact that my H did a great job researching the cheapest way to talk we still managed to rack up quite a nice bill. In response to his complaints I say, show me a Mom who would even think of telling her daughter don't call so much and when you do, be sure you don't talk too long. Not likely.
So my D arrived home safe and sound, beating out the snow storm by just under 24 hours; clever girl. And joyously, my house is filled with kids! Kids eating and talking at the kitchen table,cooking breakfasts and dinners, laying on sofas or piled up in her bed watching TV and playing on laptops. I guess for some people it might have been annoying but for me it was just awesome.I love these kids and adore having them around. I wish they would all just move in.
Secret revealed: while most girls loved Little Women my favorite was always the sequel Little Men. In that book Jo and her prof move into a giant house which they fill with wayward boys who they educate and care for.
The problem; around new years they all packed up , mine included, and left, leaving the house quiet and empty for the last 4 days. It's been super depressing. And I know that while I might grab a few more days of them it's pretty much over until ,maybe, spring break. I guess I will adjust again but I really wish I didn't have to!