lucky

Most of us know we are lucky. But it's hard to maintain that 'I'm lucky' momentum all the time. When you are having a shitty day it's hard to be cheered up by remembering that you have all your arms and legs, or your house didn't get wiped out by a earthquake. It's hard to feel lucky just for being 'normal'. But we should. So here's a few I'm lucky thoughts.

I'm lucky to have two really great kids who are healthy and happy enough to drive me occasionally crazy. I'm lucky to have an amazing husband who is willing to go to the market in the snow so I can complain about what he forgot to get.
I'm lucky to be able to have two parents who are healthy and tons of fun to be with. I'm lucky to have my Mom so that she can push too much food on me and my dad who can worry that we are not handling something right.
I'm lucky to be able to spend a week with my friends in Florida where we get to be wonderfully lazy and eat, read, shop and go to the movies. I'm lucky to make it home safely to a blizzard so I an wonder why I'm not still in Florida with my chopped salad.
I'm lucky to come home to great friends who understand that a 20 min conversation takes 35 phone calls to complete.
I'm lucky to come home to a house filled with loud hungry teenage boys, wet clothes,and a smelly dog. They will all get snowed in here for days if I'm really lucky.
Lucky to come home to too much mail, too much laundry and just enough good stuff on my tivo!

avatar

I've had this post in my head for a bit but it was the email from a friend that gave me the courage to write! You know who you are...
I have come to the conclusion that I am obviously the only person in the universe who hated Avatar. Yes, it was visually amazing but that could not sustain me through what seemed to me to be a mish mosh of a 100 other movie plots. Did whoever wrote this 'plot' really think we had never seen a movie before this one? The handsome white boy meets and falls in love with the beautiful native girl and dedicates his life to her? dances with wolves. The whole plot about how a dragon can only bond with one rider for his life; word for word out of Ergon. The crazed military guy? I was waiting for him to start yelling, "I love the smell of napalm in the morning". The brave scientist battling the uncaring corporate idiots? Way too many movies to even name.
At one point, I turned to my H and said, this is the dumbest movie I have ever seen. Not a good idea. I felt like a Cowboys fan at an Eagles game.
Not that I wasn't moved at all. I sat in a theater with the most mixed crowd I have ever seen. Blacks, whites, grandparents, young kids and teenagers all siting in complete silence for two and half hours. I never even saw anyone checking their cell phone! I was impressed with the phenomenon, the movie a lot less so. Too bad I'm all alone out here...

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follow me

As of now, I have new posts emailed to people. However, it would be great if instead anyone interested in reading my blog could sign on as a follower. It's pretty easy. Just click on the Follow link on the top of the page and fill out the info. (On my computer it's a blue banner) If for some reason that isn't there scroll down on d there is another follow link on the left side. Thanks!

full house,empty house

I try not to miss my kids when they are away. My D was in Italy for 4 months and I did a good job of not being sad. Of course that may be due in large part to the fact that she called every day and talked at great length. Despite the fact that my H did a great job researching the cheapest way to talk we still managed to rack up quite a nice bill. In response to his complaints I say, show me a Mom who would even think of telling her daughter don't call so much and when you do, be sure you don't talk too long. Not likely.
So my D arrived home safe and sound, beating out the snow storm by just under 24 hours; clever girl. And joyously, my house is filled with kids! Kids eating and talking at the kitchen table,cooking breakfasts and dinners, laying on sofas or piled up in her bed watching TV and playing on laptops. I guess for some people it might have been annoying but for me it was just awesome.I love these kids and adore having them around. I wish they would all just move in.
Secret revealed: while most girls loved Little Women my favorite was always the sequel Little Men. In that book Jo and her prof move into a giant house which they fill with wayward boys who they educate and care for.
The problem; around new years they all packed up , mine included, and left, leaving the house quiet and empty for the last 4 days. It's been super depressing. And I know that while I might grab a few more days of them it's pretty much over until ,maybe, spring break. I guess I will adjust again but I really wish I didn't have to!

marriage

Perhaps it is the fact that my oldest is getting older and relationships can become more serious . Or maybe because I have somehow managed to become addicted to Say Yes to the Dress(more on that later). Either way I have been thinking about what makes a good marriage and what doesn't. How does anyone in their 20s correctly pick the right person with whom they will manage to stay with for the next 50 or so years, if they are lucky enough to to get them. It is impossible to know what one's 30s, 40s, 50s etc will bring thought you can be sure they will be full of chaos, ups and downs, struggles,hard decisions and hopefully lots of fun and joy. The fact that anyone actually does pick the right person for a life time seems impossible. yet we know it happens all the time. The question is how? Is it just good luck or is there a magical formula?
I highly recommend trying to find the Oprah at the white house special that recently aired. I couldn't find a written transcript or i would have posted it here but the full video is all over you tube. Sure it's cool to see the White house all decorated and Bo is super cute and very well behaved. I have a vision of Cooper leaping on Oprah and knocking her over which I suspect would not go over well. But if you are short on time , or patience, just go to the part, near the end, where Barack and Michelle are seated together and talk about their marriage. They talk about both being strong stubborn personalities and what the think kept them together. I thought it was amazing. If they bothered to teach relationship skills in high school that 4 minutes should be required.

Venice and the Biennale

On our next to last day we took the train to Venice. Very easy. In Venice we took the water bus. Ugh! The 'bus' made a 100 stops and took forever. While this may have been a pleasant way to see Venice unfortunately seeing out the windows was impossible as the bus was packed. Wall to wall people , everyone of whom were talking into their cell phones. Seems Italians are crazy about their cells and everyone from kids to little old ladies can be found talking on one.
This was my third time in Venice and while it definitely can be crowded and touristy it is still, in my opinion, a magical place. Walk a few steps away from the grand canal or the main piazzas and you are lost in a maze of endless winding streets. The light reflecting on the water is breathtaking and the beautiful mansions crumbling into the canal are heartbreaking.
As evening came I stood on one of the bridges and realized that I would probably never see Venice again. After all, I had 'done' all the sights so no reason to return as a tourist, it's too far for a get-a-way weekend and I can't imagine anywhere I'd be going that would have me passing through. It was a weird feeling, one I suspect may be common in your 90s as you say good bye to various things in your life, but not one I thought would hit me so strongly at this point. Perhaps I'm older than I like to believe or maybe Venice with it's beautiful decay just inspires melancholy .
Now the main reason for the Venice visit; to see the Venice Biennale. The Biennale,, for those of you who don't know, is like the Olympics of the art world and has been going on since 1853. The work, done by artists from all over the world, is very contemporary, and very cutting edge. Almost all of it is installations. The art is set up in two main locations, incredible enormous wooden and brick structures that seem to be falling apart around you. The Biennale is organized like most of Italy, that is, not at all. There are no maps, little to no sineage, and no guards. One building leads you into another and for hours you are lost in a world of flashing lights, strange construction sites, and flickering films. The work is scary, beautiful,creepy, and sometime breathtaking. After a while we decided to leave the first site and find the second one. This never happened. Instead we wandering thru giant outdoor art installations that had us climbing up moving walls and swinging on gymnastics rings.Then we wound up walking on a gravel path through the woods. Who knew they had woods in Venice? Scattered throughout the woods were broken down sheds that seemed to be tool or storage sheds. When you opened the door to each one you stepped into a art installation. One, a nod to Hansel and Gretel, was covered inside with wrapped hard candies. Since these had been here for months the sweet smell was overwhelming and the oven in the middle added to the strangeness. Again, no signs anywhere so you had no idea if you were heading in the right direction or how long you might be wandering. A bit like being dropped on a foreign planet with no directions home. Eventually we came to a exit gate. Of course since there were , again, no signs we wandered for quite a while trying to find our way to a canal. During that time we often passed the same people we had passed wandering lost in the woods which was some comfort.
Next stop, Peggy Guggenheim's home. She had a large home right on the grand canal which is filled with her art and open to the public. ( For a fee, of course).While I think we would have enjoyed it more if the home retained her original furnishings it did allow you to hang out on her patio? veranda? which hangs out over the Grand Canal. Since I don't expect to ever be invited into anyone's home who lives on the canal it was a fantastic experience to be there.
All in all, a great day.

Arrivederchi padova

Well I 'm back from my trip to Italy to visit Melissa. It was very fun and we had a great time. It was quite different from my usual experiences visiting places in which the days are quite busy, filled with things that must be seen and done. I had been to Italy before and while we had things we wanted to do if we got to them at 11 or 3 it really didn't matter. It was more a matter of hanging out together. I'm really blessed that we enjoy each others company so much and hope I don't ever take that for granted. I got to have dinner with several of her friends over 2 nights and had a great meal at her family's home. Her friends are terrific and we laughed and had some great food. Her family is very nice, smart, interesting, and very warm and sweet.They seem to be crazy about her.
Padova is a fantastic city, very pretty. Small narrow twisty streets with no cars allowed, 2 incredible piazza's filled with people selling fruits and vegetables and people out on the streets night and day drinking coffee or wine. Next to the piazzas are two long alleys of tiny shops that only sell one thing; one only sells cheese, one bread, one olives...like being back in time. You feel very authentic as there are no tourists. I don't think anyone speaks english but since I was never without my personal translator that wasn't a problem.
Friday we went to Ferrera which is a very cool little town. The Italian trains are quite nice and very easy to manage, as long as you speak excellent Italian! Like Padova the part inside the medieval wall is forbidden to cars and filed with narrow cobblestone streets. Walking in heels is out of the question! They have a huge amazing castle (moat included that you wander through in and out of every room. Obviously they don't have law suits there as they let you walk down a 600 year old very unsafe cobblestone staircase into the dungeons completely unsupervised. No guards, just one or two little old women who point and grunt. Then off to bologna- a larger , very active city. Around 6:30pm every person living in the city comes out and just walks around and hangs out. It's unbelievable. The place is packed all night. On sat eve we returned to Padova and had (another great meal). Our meals were pretty simple. Plates of pasta and carafes of red wine. All good.
The north is definitely different from the south. You can see the people are well dressed, every woman has a large louis vuitton bag, and there is no cannolli.
Venice in the next post!